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The BDSM Lifestyle

We hear the word kinky on a regular basis, mostly in jokes and innuendos, as a way of describing something sexually odd. The reality is that there is no set definition for what “kinky” is. Kinky (kink) is defined as a sexual practice hat maybe considered taboo or contradictory to societal norms. As a result individuals from different cultures backgrounds, and upbringings have a different idea of what kinky is. For some individuals, it is anything in the bedroom that goes beyond plain vanilla sex. Some people think of sex, as well… just sex. Adding anything to it, makes it kinky. That includes anything from a basic role playing to some mild fuzzy handcuffs. If it isn’t two people and a bed, it is kinky. On the other extreme of it, are those who hear the word and think “gag me, tie me, and spank me”. This sexual interest is known as bondage, or BDSM. It is generally characterized by whips, chains, restraints, gags and other sex toys. While these interests may come of as odd, for some it is a lifestyle; the BDSM lifestyle.

BDSM is dissected as bondage, sadism, and masochism. On the surface they may seem to be a unique grouping of fetishes, however they are a very intricate close knit fabric that, among its community, is beauty in and of its self. A fetish is defined as a habitual erotic response to any object or non genital part of the body. We all have arousals that arise for reasons aside from simple emotional attraction. Some may experience a heightened sense of arousal from a certain style of lingerie or a dirty talk. This is no different in the psyche than one who engages in the BDSM lifestyle.

The core dynamic of the BDSM lifestyle is the roles of master and servant. These rules rules which date thousands of years have always elicited a feeling of taboo. In general most individuals assume a sexual role as a Domme or a Sub. A Domme is more so a guide than who leads the sub on adventure of challenges through their mind and actions. These adventures may be physically or emotionally gratifying. As odd as this may sound much of the BDSM lifestyle is about mental aspect of dominate. Anyone can learn to put aside physical pain and withstand it, however when we deal with the mental aspect we grow as a person.

Very often in our life we are forced to portray the roles society lies for us, but the BDSM lifestyle changes that and gives us a way to escape. For example men who are generally pressured to take charge, can give up control. Although this may be hard for them to do as a result of gender roles, the BDSM lifestyle encourages and and reward the behavior. The rewarding is also twofold for a Domme. The control elements at hand of the Domme may not be experienced outside of the BDSM setting. Also when the Sub has a breakthrough it is rewarding for the Domme, and satisfaction can be taken in knowing they were had a presence in the mental growth of another individual.

With the mental aspect being important, the BDSM setting is significant. Most individuals in the lifestyle create a dungeon for their use or have access to an erotic club with a dungeon for use. The dungeon is the setting for for the Domme roles and the challenges the Sub must overcome. With the BDSM lifestyle being primarily about challenges the dungeon setting represents those challenge situation faced in the real world. It is important that this dungeon allows the sub to have free zone. A place where it is okay show their vulnerability without fear of scrutiny. With the dungeon will come with the use many sex toys and accessories. The average dungeon will include such things as a sex whips, ropes, chains, floggers, and lesbian sex toys such as stap-on dildos.

There will always be people who cannot comprehend the BDSM lifestyle cannot get it passed that the lifestyle isn’t about kinks, fetishes or sex but rather mental growth. It is sad that the lifestyle is often misunderstood and discredited as some form of sexual deviation. The reality is that it is about trust, respect and growth between two people.

Your Child and Mental Health

While many adults believe that children live a life of ease, this is certainly not necessarily always true. Your child and mental health is a dynamic world unto it’s own.Children are not without their own emotional, mental, and physical troubles. Just as with older humans, children are capable of feeling all types of feelings. These include feelings of sadness, hurt, mistrust, anxiety, and anger. In addition, the way that children deal with these feelings can have a huge effect on their emotional health. Children and mental health often reflects greatly on the parental mental health that a child has when he or she become a parent themselves. Kids that grow up in a positive environment are much more likely to be positive adults than those that experience negative emotional mental health during their childhood.Infant and child mental health establishes a foundation of self-esteem for life.Children as young as infants are aware of trust and mistrust in others and in self. After a child is only a few months old, their emotional health begins to develop. It is important during infancy that a baby learns he or she can trust the caregiver. The baby needs to know that his or her needs are taken care of when a diaper should be changed or a feeding needs to take place. Infants that go long periods of time without the attention of the caregiver are much more likely not to trust.Once the infant passes through the stage of placing trust in others, a toddler encounters a stage of emotional mental health called autonomy vs. shame and doubt. During this period, the child needs to feel that he or she is capable of independence. While an infant needed others, toddlers are looking for space to obtain good mental health. When a toddler is not given the opportunity to find independence, he or she often grows up having a lacking self-esteem, feeling ashamed as well as a whole assortment of other mental health issues. Much independence during this stage of life is found through potty training with the toddler taking care of his or her own bathroom needs.Your child and mental health goes hand in hand with the circumstance of the family environment while growing up.Initiative verse guilt follows the toddler stage when a child reaches preschool and kindergarten. During this stage, the child emotionally needs to explore others and the world around him or her and begins to become interested in belonging to a group and role-playing within that group. During this stage of life, a person develops much of their background for social interaction. Children who are allowed to explore and interact with others are much more likely to carry over positive social skills into adulthood than those that are secluded from group activities. These others can end up on the opposite side of the spectrum in regards to their social and mental health becoming withdrawn from others.It is quite apparent that child and adult mental health become synonymous throughout life.Part of creating a solid foundation in children to carry over into adulthood is allowing children the opportunity to learn how to make choices. Children need to experience the effects that their choices have on their lives. Instead of continually giving a child direction, it is better to give a child options.When allowed to take some actions into their own hands helps create an emotional mental health framework for the future, Setting boundaries and preparing children for disappointments help children prepare for good mental health and avoidance of mental health issues as an adult. In some cases, children can make choices for themselves. However, children also need to learn that not everything will always be controlled by them. They need to learn to accept the things that they cannot control. A child that learns to cope with disappointment through a caregiver that sets boundaries will grow into an adult with a foundation of more positive emotional mental health than those children that never experience hearing the word “no”. All of this is very critical for child and adolescent development.While all research indicates that the environment in which a child grows greatly affects his or her emotional mental health, not all parents that fail to properly foster their child’s stages of health are neglectful or bad parents. In fact, many parents struggle with the proper methods they should carry out to help their child grow into a prosperous adult.Interaction is a great way to help your child’s emotional mental health bloom. Children need to be cuddled and feel the touch of others. In addition, they need communication. Even as an infant, babies respond to parents and others through coos. Responding to these babbles is an important part of the infant and child mental health development process (both mentally and emotionally). As the child grows older, let him or her know what he or she has to say is important by listening and responding in conversation.In addition to talking, your child and mental health is dependent upon nonverbal responses also. Be certain to make eye contact with the child. Share gestures and facial expressions during daily routines such as dinner, story time, and bath time.Be certain that you have expectations for your child and that they are appropriate for the child’s age level. Placing too much pressure or high expectations on your child can be harmful to his or her emotional mental health. Do not place expectations on the child that he or she is not mature enough to handle.When your child reaches a charged emotional situation, try to help the child understand the feelings and work through the problem. Let your child know that it is okay to express emotions if they are expressed in a proper manner.Raising or working with a child can be a large responsibility when it is realized that the things the child experiences now affects how he or she will respond to the world as an adult. The positive or negative environment that a kid encounters through childhood affects the ways that he or she handles situations independently when grown.Carefully considering the emotional health needs that help a child feel secure about him or herself and about the environment are important to his or her success in the future.